Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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