His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
