Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
