either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
