six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
