I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
