eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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