Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
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