No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
