Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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