I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
