But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
