she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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