plz talk dirty to me
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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