Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
