Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
