Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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