ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My vagina just recognized that song.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
