im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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