I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize