I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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