I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
