KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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