Only a mothe r could love this liver
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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