Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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