I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
