The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
