yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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