My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
