i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
