Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Are my feet made of real feet?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
