I'm really into asian looking animals
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
