Kareoke will never be a sober sport
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
