summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
