guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
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