is wine microwaveable?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
50% drunk capacity currently
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
