I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
