Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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