He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
