ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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