Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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