You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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