new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
