You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
