12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
