Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
