is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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