dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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