some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
there is glitter all over my balls
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