This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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