The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i've created a new STD.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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