ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
