it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
