Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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