sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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