went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
