What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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