what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
